Elect Me Baby, One More Time

As I sit and stare silently at my screen (wow, did I just make an alliteration??), I am desperately trying to come up with something to make fun of John McCain's recent ad against Barack Obama. Honestly, the commercial makes fun of itself. I really do not need to write anything. I understand the reason behind the ad (jealousy), but, Barack Obama... ...Paris Hilton... ...really?!?!? How can McCain's camp really compare Obama to Spears and Hilton? I mean, sure, Barack Obama has been seen hanging out with Justin Timberlake. And, there was that unfortunate paparazzi shot of Obama getting out of his car without underwear. But, other than that, how can McCain even pretend to draw a connection? Is he trying to create a distraction?

As the Democratic party moves closer to unity, the media is being forced to focus on McCain and Obama rather than Clinton and Obama. Now he has to be careful of what he says. No longer can he confuse the Sunni and Sh'ia, or not know that there is an Iran-sized gap between the Iraq and Afghanistan borders. I was half-expecting him to refer to the war in Iraq as the "Mesopotamian Conflict." I'm sure Germany could help us in that conflict, but the Kaiser refuses to commit troops. Perhaps Gaul can help us.

See, I'm sure that Barack Obama could air a similar ad against John McCain, but Abe Vigoda and Bea Arthur are busy doing other things. Besides, I would think that McCain is more comparable to Paris Hilton than Obama is. Take, for example, this excerpt from a recent interview with Charlie Gibson:

GIBSON: There may be some disaffected Clinton voters out there coming out of this primary, upset that their candidate didn't get it. What do you do to appeal to them?

MCCAIN: National security, reform, assurance that I will represent every American as president of the United States, ability, proven record of bipartisanship. That's hot.

Not to mention the fact that John McCain was in the navy, so, like Paris Hilton, he's used to being surrounded by sea m... ...you know what, that's too easy.

The bottom line? Like John McCain's recent ad, I have no bottom line.